Not My Body, Not My Choice

By Jordan Mayfield LSCSW, LCAC

With the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade, women’s rights activists have amped up their efforts to keep abortion legal, supporting individual autonomy regarding reproductive rights. In my therapy practice I have spent countless sessions speaking with clients about their frustrations concerning this and what they perceive as the recent attack on their bodies and their control over them. Unfortunately, this is not recent, nor will it be the last time. In fact, women and women’s bodies have been one of the most heavily regulated entities since the beginning of time.

Women have always been considered property throughout the course of history in our country. Their bodies and futures have been largely in the hands of their fathers and then husbands. Woman historically came with a dowry or set of assets and money given from a bride’s family to her groom upon marriage. Often a woman’s appeal as a wife had much more to do with her family name, social-standing and finances than anything she had to offer in her own right. Conversely, also common was a “bride price” that the male could pay the woman’s family to take possession of her. Much like a cow or other farm animal. And once married, coverture ensured that no female person had a legal identity.

In 1769 the American colonies adopted English Law which upon marriage a man and woman were considered “one person” in the eyes of the law. Unfortunately, this one person who could vote, serve on juries, own property, etc. was the man, and the woman’s voice was effectively silenced. In the 1800s it was a common practice for men to send their wives to mental institutions if they did not submit to their husband’s demands. This was termed “moral insanity” and they were imprisoned in these institutions until they acquiesced or unfortunately, died.

And while cis White women have limited autonomy over their bodies and still struggle to assert themselves as meaningful members of society, BIPOC and trans women have even more significant barriers. Unfortunately, trans women experience significantly more violence and discrimination than trans men. It is also more challenging to obtain gender confirmation documents and surgeries than trans men. This is because they are affirming their gender as female, and society collectively asks why would anyone “want to identify” as the lesser sex? Gay men who present with more effeminate characteristics are also targeted. Once you cross the continuum into femininity you are seen as less valuable and are taken less seriously regardless of identified gender.

Unfortunately, women themselves have bought into a lot of the societal rhetoric that keeps them oppressed. Even self-proclaimed feminists. Women are still socialized to be sweet, quiet, care-taking, and selfless. This makes it easier to continue to regulate them. However, old school feminists who balk at this participate in the continued oppression by judging women for embracing and even profiting off of their sexuality. If we continue to focus on fighting each other than the true perpetrators and institutions who are running the show get off the hook.

It’s also important to not get distracted during the pro-choice debate by religious rhetoric. The abortion discussion has nothing to do with when “life” begins but whether women have autonomy over their own bodies and their own medical care. Having a child can be the most wonderful event in a person’s life but at the wrong time or under the wrong circumstances can be the most debilitating. And while pro-lifers are interested in the birth of these children, they are not interested in supporting the institutions and policies to help them or their parents.

The decision to over-turn Roe v Wade is not a war on women, it is one battle in a war that has been being fought for generations. Those of us who are on the battlefield now have the responsibility to not be paralyzed by the distress and to fight back. It is a battle we will fight over and over again with the hopes that we take back a little more ground with each victory.